Wad have i been doing? Wad have i been thinking.. I dunno wad's wrong with me.. But i noe something's wrong..
Not the first nor second.. Many times do i get this kind of feeling.. Dun ask me wad is it.. Cos i'm unsure.. Ever told Angel abt it.. I must help myself.. No one else can (besides God of cos).. Told Kel abt it too.. Kel said mayb cos i'm too stressed.. The point is... I should b feeling the tension, but yet i'm not.. I worry for my papers.. But i dun seem to really sit down n study.
Dun think anyone would understand cos i hardly open up my heart n tell others wad's deep in my heart.. I've a sophisicated thinking.. Getting emotional and emotionless at the same time. Contradicting? Yes, that's the point.. I dunno myself at all.. Like Erickson's theory says, during the adolescents period, identity vs role confusion.. Guess i'm in a state of role confusion now.. Where's my true identity? Arghz..
Bio pract is at 3.. Did some quizes, n get even more demoralised.. It seems that i havent even study. How stressful it is!? Mayb my method of studying is wrong.. Haiz.. i admire smart ppl.. Too bad i dun haf their brains.. *sobs
I wished papers end soon.. So that i can really give myself a break. I think i need that badly.. Got thousand and one things to ponder about.. How many times i told myself to change.. But i dun think i'm doing anything to improve myself. Haiz.. I'm ignorant n stubborn.. I'm learning to accept the reality.
Cant wait for outings.. Yeah, the beach.. But i think i would rather go alone.. I wanna b alone.. Sit there n think about life. The past, the present n the future... Everything n anything..